Call jokes
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona?
A Cor-owner.
What do you call a school bus driver that cannot walk? A silly school bus driver!
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!
Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?
Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?
Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Doctor: *calls 911*
911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?
Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?
911 service: *hangs up*
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto! 😂
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
How do you finger a feminist? Shake her hand and call her Theresa.
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"
"Incest."
Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?
Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.