Call jokes
I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"
What do you call a wet condom?
A wet condom.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
What do you call a bitch? A dumbass, hahahahaha.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A one-eyed fish, you smart ass!
What do you call J Cow's new hit? Deja Moo!
Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"
Orphan; "Stop calling here!"
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels!
What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?
A big Mexican woman.
What do you call Jamieilyah when she is sleeping?
Sleeping Beauty.
What do you call a Downey with glasses?
No, me neither.
What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?
Fucks funny.
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
What do you call a Chinese boxer?
U lamb chow.
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!