Call jokes
What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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All records are as of March 11th, 2021.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Memes
lol anons are idiots
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing, then his friend calls and he is groaning. He said he was having cramps, so the husband tells the doctor, "Doc, turn it up to 40%!" So he does, and his friend throws up, so he said, "Doc, turn it up to 100%!" and his friend dies.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
What do you call a pig in a farm?
- A pig in a farm.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
What do you call a black woman?
A Nigg-girl.