Call jokes
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
Teacher: "What's your name?"
Student: "Hang on a second."
10 seconds later:
Teacher: "Is something wrong?"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
20 seconds later:
Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"
Student: "Just listen to me!"
Teacher: "Go on, speak!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
What do you call a dumpster with an antenna on it? Radio Morocco.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.