Call jokes

What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?

A green bean.

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?

Yeah, it's called RobberBand.

What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?

A foreign exchange student.

What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.

What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?

Call them retarded.

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.

You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?

Bruno Mars.

What do you call a fat duck?

Donald Duck.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have nobody to call "daddy."

What do you call a funny chicken?

A comedi-hen!

What do you call a bald Mexican?

A huevo.