Call

Call jokes

Insult

    • Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."

    Vortex: "You'll do what?"

    Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"

    *Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*

    Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."

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    • Call memes

    Dog

    • Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."

    Orphan

    • Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."

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    • Girlfriend

    • What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven

    Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere

    Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

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    • Orangutan

    • Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"

    Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.

    LOL

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    • Cookie

    • Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.

    1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?

    2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?

    Class

    • I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

    I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

    She said, "She was a little tardy."

    I asked her, "I thought they all were."

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    • Brojob

    • If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?

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    • Dark Humor

    • Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

    Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

    You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

    My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

    I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

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