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Bingo

    • After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.

    During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."

    Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"

    Friend

    • My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

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    • Rooster

    • On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.

    I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!

    I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!

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    • Call memes

    Wife

    • My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

    Orphan

    • What do you call an orphan who likes football?

    Because someone will actually give him something.