Call jokes
What is the state of California best for? Screwing everything up!
What is the state of Florida for? Rednecks for days!
What is the state of Texas for? Guns!
What is the state of Utah for? Mormons and Pligs baby! (I hate all of the religious stuff!)
What is the state of Idaho for? Calling other people Ho's, mostly!
What is the state of Nevada for? Ever heard of gambling?
What is the state of Delaware for? Literally anything that isn't exciting!
What is the state of New York for? In my state of mind, it's a song! (If you don't get this one, look up the song of New York State of Mind)
What do you call a rapper who's afraid of GHOSTS?
MC Shiver.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.
My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.
A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.
The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call an orphan?
A bootysnagger45.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.