Call jokes
Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Memes
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
Why can't Juice WRLD play Call of Duty zombies?
Because he can't handle all six perks.
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.