Call jokes
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
Eminem-o the Great.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because no one will call them daddy.
What do you call a very long bowl?
Manute Bowl.
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed? High steaks gambling.
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
What do you call Link when he is hurt?
A link to the cast.
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."