Call jokes
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Memes
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.