Call jokes
I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".
Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.
So people call me poor until they see my bank account.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?
A: Someone who just ate beans.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
My dad came back!
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.