Call jokes

What do you call a dog turd in China?

Waste of food.

What do you call a Mexican with one leg?

Border hopper.

NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

What do you call two natives in a ditch?

A sleepover.

What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.

For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?

"Chancel culture!"

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?

Fruit Loops.

What do you call a Chinese assassin?

Chinese takeout.

What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?

Panera instead.

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

What do you call an Asian who gets a B?

It's not a B-sian.

Dead.

What does an orphan call a kidnapping?

A surprise adoption.

What do you call 8 x 3.14?

Octopi.

What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?

Filipino.

So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"