Call jokes
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?
Weedle Knievel.
What do you call a Pokémon who can’t move very fast?
A Slowpoke.
Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!