Call jokes
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?
Weedle Knievel.
Memes
What do you call a Pokémon who can’t move very fast?
A Slowpoke.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.