Call jokes

So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.

What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.

What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?

A boomerang.

What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?

A pot-hole.

Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

What do you call German weed?

Mustard Gas.

What do you call a committee of emo kids?

A cutting board!

What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?

RCXD in bound

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you told them twice.

My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?

Yung Flung Dung.

What do you call a group of transgender women?

X-Men.

My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."