Call jokes
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?
Weedle Knievel.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.