Call jokes

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?

Fruit Loops.

What do you call it when a gay guy farts?

An abortion.

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

What do you call 8 x 3.14?

Octopi.

So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.

What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?

Filipino.

What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?

A pot-hole.

My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.

What do you call a committee of emo kids?

A cutting board!

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

What do you call an ex-lesbian?

A clitter quitter.

When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.

What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?

Cause they want to become Super Man.

What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you told them twice.

What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?

Yung Flung Dung.

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.

What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.