Call jokes
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
What did the Teacher say to the orphan?
"I am calling your parents!"
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.