Call jokes
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
Memes
What would a Down syndrome Ben 10 alien be called?
Chromostone.
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Why is it called a building if it's already built?
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
What do you call an orphan who became a priest?
Father-less.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.