Call jokes
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
Memes
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!