Call jokes
What do you call a dead human?
A DEAD HUMAN! HAHAHahahah ha.. ha.. ha Am I the only one laughing?
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?
My best friend.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed? High steaks gambling.
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.
What do cows call money?
Moola.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
What do you call a bunch of bald paki in a swimming pool? Coco pops.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
Why wasn’t the orphan allowed on the game show?
The show was called "Family Feud."
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!