Call jokes
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
What do you call a flying Aboriginal?
Boong 747.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
What do you call gulls in the sea? Seagulls!
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth? A "glad-he-ate-her".
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
What do you call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.
What do you call a favorite joke that isn’t your favorite?
None fave. Foch heads.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!