Call jokes
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs? Names......
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
What do you call an orphan's parents?
Dead meat.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
What do you call Snoop Dogg’s giant turd?
Poop Logg.
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
What do you call a cringey Indian man? A Cringian.
Sorry, the joke is bad :(