Call jokes
Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?
WhatsApple.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
What do you call a dick that's too small to see?
Tick-tack dick.
Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth? A "glad-he-ate-her".
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Q: What do you call an emo business? A: A cutting board.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL