Call jokes

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

What do you call a blank piece of paper?

Women's rights.

What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?

A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.

What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?

A pot-hole.

What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.

What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

What do you call German weed?

Mustard Gas.

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

What do you call an ex-lesbian?

A clitter quitter.

What do you call a committee of emo kids?

A cutting board!

What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?

Yung Flung Dung.

My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.

What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you told them twice.

My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."

What do you call a group of transgender women?

X-Men.

What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?

Cause they want to become Super Man.

When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.