Call jokes
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
Memes
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.