Call jokes
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
What do you call a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus.
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
What do you call three people in a dark room? A porno.
Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.
What do you call a pun that's bad? A bad pun.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."