Call jokes
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.
The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."
Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"
I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"
Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"
John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
What do you call a cow on steroids? A bull-y.
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?
A: My sister.
What do you call a Mongolian swindler?
A Khan artist.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.