Call jokes
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
To all my bullies: don’t call me gay because I’m not happy.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"
What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.
There lived a jackal in a forest. He did not get the day's food, so he was very hungry and wandered throughout the forest, but could not find any food. Finally, he decided to go to the city. As he was walking into the city, he heard some dogs bark. Soon, he found a group of dogs running towards him, so he rushed into a nearby house which belonged to a dyer and fell into a tub filled with blue dye. The dogs that were chasing him returned back as they could not find him. The jackal came out blue from the tub and went into the forest. Every animal in the forest was frightened to see a new animal. The jackal realized that all animals were afraid of him and took advantage of the situation. He called the animals towards him. The jackal said, "Oh my dear friends, I have been sent by gods in heaven to protect you all. I will be the king of this jungle." All the animals became very happy. Everyday they served him food and took care of all his needs. They came to him with all their problems and listened to what their king said. One day as the king jackal was sitting by the court, he heard a pack of jackals howling in the forest. For a long time, he had not heard these voices. He felt very happy, forgetting he was the king, he howled back immediately. All the animals knew who he really was and started chasing him in anger, but the jackal was already on the run.
What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call a kid that lives alone?
An orphan. ;)
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
What do you call an imposter octopus?
Octosus.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
What do you call a man with farts?
DEEZ NUTS!
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
Little Johnny was at home and then he went to his grandma's house. He went there to cuss so he wouldn't get in trouble, and secretly, Grandma called his momma to come pick him up.
Momma asked what Little Johnny did, and she said he cussed and cussed and cussed. Granny had enough and called Mom again. Momma said Little Johnny was grounded for 2 weeks, and Little Johnny cussed some more. Now he grounded for 3 weeks.
What is a pooper man called? A dentist.