Call jokes
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?
Still no fucking idea.
What do you call a herd of winning cows?
A topside.
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.