Call jokes
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.
Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?
Fucks funny.
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
What do you call a one-legged Asian?
Tie Won Shoo.
What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.
What do you call an orphan with a boner?
Porn.