What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?
Ice Cube.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
What do you call a booty that’s always negative?
A pessimist-cheek.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What do you call a rapper who loves gardening?
Dr. Dre-seed.
What do you call a rich Asian?
A cha-ching.
What do you call a smart booty?
A wise-crack!
What do you call a booty that can sing?
A crack-up!
What do you call a rapper with bad manners?
RUDE-ICROUS
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?
DOUGH-KNIGHT
