Call jokes

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.

What do you call a group of black people in a shed?

Antique farm equipment.

What do you call a homosexual wrestler?

Gay Mysterio.

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.

What do you call a gay T-Rex?

A tyranno-sore-ass!

What do you call a tent for lesbians?

Finger Hut.

What do you call a white person from Africa?

Albino.

Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.

Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.

Mom: Well, it’s my house.

Little Johnny: Then go clean it.

Mom: Go to school!

At school:

Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.

Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.

Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!

What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A saltshaker.

My girlfriend called me pedophile today.

Big word for a 12-year-old.

What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?

Con Fuckacarcass.

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?

Geo dude.

This is how animals were named.

"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?

"Bison. Perfect."

What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.