Buy jokes
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.
Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
Hey Jonny, you can buy a...
Pun o' chips at the store!
A woman goes to buy a parrot.
There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.
She asks why the last one is so cheap.
The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."
The lady buys it anyway.
When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"
When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"
When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
Anyone wanna buy me Season X on Fortnite?
I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?
Because they don't have a home.
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
A down-on-his-luck Newfoundlander takes a job in Toronto. He hates every minute of it. The housing is overpriced, the traffic a bottleneck. Frustrated, he starts saving every penny until he can buy a car to go home to the outport.
Eventually someone takes pity on him and offers to sell him a car with no reverse for fifty bucks.
"I takes it!" the Newfie replies, "because I don't intends on coming back anyway."
Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”