Buy jokes

Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

Son: Okay, I'll do it!

5 hours later...

Son: I'm done!

Dad: I lied.

Son: So did I!

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

Why did the emo go to the store?

To buy bleach.

Where do you buy cows in bulk?

At the stock market.

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?

Pokemon Jokes!

What do you do when your Loudred evolves?

Buy more earplugs!

Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?

Because they can actually buy a house.

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

What do you call a parent that is pregnant?

Buy one, get one free.

Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.

Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.

What happened after George Floyd went to the drugstore to buy zicam extreme congestion relief? George Floyd was able to breathe again

With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.

My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.

Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?

So that he could design his own “website.”

A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."

A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.

Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.

That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.

Why can Asian people buy phones?

'Cause they might call the wrong number.

I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.

Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.