Buy jokes
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.
So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
What do crows get after they buy a phone?
A cawing card.
Why do orphans not buy a keyboard? Because they can’t use the home button.