Butt jokes
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”
I only trust people that like big butts.
Your mum sunk in the pool because she had a big butt.
I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.
Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
Ha, Uranus face!
Not in a racist way tho.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"