Butt jokes
Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?
What does a butt do when it is angry?
Butt crack!
Big butt
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Why did the butthole get angry?
So it could wipe every human, snipe.
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
A Chinese man moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.
He bought a home on a small piece of land.
The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.
He goes next door, but on his way up the driveway he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt these "Chinese customs", he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.
Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees him urinate into a glass and then drink it.
Not wanting to interrupt another "Chinese custom", he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the neighbor leading a bull down the driveway and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.
The American dude can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, "Jeez man, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you."
The Chinese man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I am doing, these are American Customs."
"What do you mean," says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs."
"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me," replied the Chinese man. "He say to become true American, I must learn to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bull-shit!"
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
I only trust people that like big butts.
When you are stressing from homework, just do some skateboarding and kick butt.
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.