But jokes

What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?

I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

You're really special.

But the R in special is silent.

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

I can't handle these puns...

But I can HAND you some puns!

Budum tiss!

When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"

She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD

Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?

I just overheard this but:

How do you make a party in space?

You planet.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

What went up but never came down?

Stephen Hawking's IQ.

POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."

Wait till the end.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.

But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!

Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.

But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?

I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!

The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.

But why is 10 scared? Because he is in the middle of 9/11.