But jokes

Why were the Twin Towers angry?

They ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.

Sound familiar? 🤔

Well, in September 11th...

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.

I used to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. But then I was born.

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.

I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...

But it’s quite pointless.

How are the Twin Towers and genders similar? There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.

One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.

My hips can't move, but Heineken.

I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.

I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*

Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.