But jokes

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.

I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.

I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.

I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...

But it’s quite pointless.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.

But, it's like a plane pizza.

Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

I'd make a masturbation joke.

But they always get out of hand.

My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.

The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?

(Doesn't have boss bar.)

Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.

I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.

But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

How are the Twin Towers and genders similar? There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.

One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.

I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.

My hips can't move, but Heineken.