Business jokes
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
Why did the Twin Towers report to the pizza restaurant?
Because they asked for pepperoni, but they got plain.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
"MERCURY INSURANCE, come to our office in Mercury."
Memes
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.
What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
Why does Mini P.E.K.K.A. love pancakes? Because he is busy watching explicit content involving the Archers and Firecracker.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because he wanted to CUT through the competition!