Business jokes
How do rappers make their money?
By dropping dimes.
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
Your hairline is so wonky that it looks like the McDonald’s sign.
Do they call it rapeseed oil because it is lube?
Memes
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count bars like NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to GROW his fan base.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
What do you call a fast Panera Bread?
Panera Sped.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To become the spicy chicken burger at Chic-fil-A.
Why does Apple logo depict 1 byte in the 21st century?
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!