Business jokes
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
"MERCURY INSURANCE, come to our office in Mercury."
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough.
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!