Business jokes

Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.

What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?

A pot-hole.

Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.

Probably top.

Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.

I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”

What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?

KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.

What's an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.

New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.

What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?

The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?

It comes with no strings attached.

I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says:

"Clothed Until Further Notice."

People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.

What kind of trumpet are you playing?

An "Donald Trumpet"!

What is an orphan's least favorite store?

Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.

A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".

So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".

So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"

I know, it's an awful joke.