Business jokes
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
T-Series.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u
A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.