Once my friends bakery burned down...His business is toast.
Helicopter, Helicopter Kobe Bryant in my chopper Sitting next to burning daughter Lots of smoke and little laughter
I don’t usually tell 911 jokes the usually crash and burn
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down and he loved it. Not really though.
What’s the difference between a violin and viola? The viola burns longer
B: Can you please stop roasting me?
A: At least, the"roasting" that I did to you didn't burn to death
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
I went to the store and bought minecraft java edition I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played minecraft.
Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.
If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell", I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.
WHAT BURNS UP A FOOTBALL STADIUM??? A FOOTBALL ' MATCH '
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
what do you call a burning church?
Holy Smokes
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
I would roast you but I'm not supposed to burn trash.
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any! Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
