Burning jokes
I don’t think 9/11 jokes are funny... they just crash and burn.
Burn witches and stone whores.
They didn't burn witches back in the day, they burned bitches.
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Credit to Burn in Hell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5a0jTc9S10
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.