Burning jokes

A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”

I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.

Bored?

Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.

What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?

Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?

Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.

How to commit arson:

1. Burn down an orphanage.

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.

Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.

What is the difference between white people and coal?

It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.

Why did the man put himself on fire?

To BURN Calories.

What is the difference between Black people and coal?

It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.

I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.

What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?

The viola burns longer.

B: Can you please stop roasting me?

A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.