Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
Bored?
Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
I don’t usually tell 911 jokes the usually crash and burn
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.
Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."
Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"
"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."
"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.
I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.
I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.
B: Can you please stop roasting me?
A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
