Burning jokes
What is your body like? Soft.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.
Why did the orphan jump into the burning building?
It was too cold because they did not have a home.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
I remember you. You used to be an ash.
I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Jokes about the Twin Towers and planes usually crash and burn.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
Should I burn heaven?
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.