Burning jokes
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
What do you call a burned Mexican? A fried torteya.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Jokes about the Twin Towers and planes usually crash and burn.
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!