Burning jokes
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.
What do you call a burned Mexican? A fried torteya.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
Jokes about the Twin Towers and planes usually crash and burn.
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.