Break jokes

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

"Gwen don't want break up! Please talk to me!"

Hi, this is a good prank I did.

So, my brother LOVES his phone and so... I put it in the toilet and then flushed it, but it wouldn't go down. So, then I gave it to him and he threw it and then it broke. HAHAHAHAHAHA

(Prankster, tell me if you don't like me doing pranks because it is your thing.)

Bye guys! I hope you liked this prank! (And his phone did not really break, it just cracked really bad lol)

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.

Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?

Because they have a break down.

John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."

Fiancee: "Break a leg!"

How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"

A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.

Throw a plate.

It’s broken, right?

Say “sorry” to it.

Did it fix back?

No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)

All-star gay mix

Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.

Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.

So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.

The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?

Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.

"Break me a piece of that Kit Kat bar."

My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.

Now she's having a breakfast.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.

Why did the ocean break up with the pond?

Because the pond was too shallow.

Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Why did the skeleton have no friends?

He was a boner!

Heheheh!

Ah, see ya soon kiddo.

I'm going on break.

I'll give you some fried snow later!

It was pornography class, and there was a break.

Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...

Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!

Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?

Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...

Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Teacher: Where's the D?

Adult 2: Inside me...