I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?
Panera Read.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
Top 10 Cos:
1. Disco 2. Flamenco 3. Fresco 4. Fiasco 5. Monaco 6. Tobacco 7. Bronco 8. Morocco 9. UNESCO 10. Taco
Pexico? Not top 1000 in my honest book.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.
Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
