Book jokes

When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?

Panera Read.

Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?

A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"

Top 10 Cos:

1. Disco 2. Flamenco 3. Fresco 4. Fiasco 5. Monaco 6. Tobacco 7. Bronco 8. Morocco 9. UNESCO 10. Taco

Pexico? Not top 1000 in my honest book.

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.

Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.

What is the best way to end a cookbook?

And that’s a wrap!

Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.

At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.

Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?

Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.

Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!

"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.

I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...

I know, I'm going to hell!

This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"

Salman Rushdie got a new book out.

It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."