Read Jokes

The Dirty Freak

You got a dig bick.

You that read wrong.

You read that wrong too.

Maybe you that read wrong as well.

You just went and back checked.

You reread of all that.

You have a pet wussy.

You that read wrong...

You need mental help.

Funny Joke

A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read "Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now" The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying "Sorry meant using your wifi"

7
Trint

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

5
Cranbox

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read "its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path." People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

Bobby Bob Bobs
in Funny

What do planets like to read? Comet books!

Anonymous

Q: What’s the difference between me and you? A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.

9
in Orphan

Like this if you laughed.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

I made a website for orphans .Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

Anonymous

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

0
Bush did 9/11

Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.

in Depression

I won't reply on every jokes today because I want to say thanks (to everyone) for making funny jokes here... Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes, its makes me happy and its making me less anxious. I am really stressed on my school works and everything, I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertain me and making me laugh so hard. *I apologize for my grammar

Dick Dick

How did Hellen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball as told her to “read this book”.

1
Anonymous
in Number

Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?

Because 7 ONEted TWO bring THREE knives FOUR surFIVEal, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hEIGHTed him, and didn’t have beNINE inTENtions.

Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)

Anonymous

I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...

It was impossible to put down

Jo-Nathan d'Urberville
in Hare

A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit, he slams on his brakes, gets out and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired. A passing car slams on it’s brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny pulls out an aerosol can and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The Bunny jumps up runs a few feet, then stops, turns around and waves it’s paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight. The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says “Wow that is amazing, what is in that can” the man looks at the can and reads the label “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave”.

Anonymous
in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.

Funny but sad.

I'm funny but sad I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

6
Mercy Shore

Hellen keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.

DrunkenKitty

Why did Helen Keller burn her hands? Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.

0
Anonymous
in Number

Read this slow : i 1 2 4 Q