Book jokes
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
They put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.