Book jokes
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Have you read "50 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makeit and Probly Not?
They put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library.
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.
What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.
Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.
The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.
Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.
I have more chin than the Chinese phone book.