Book jokes

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.

What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.

Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.

The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.

Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.

Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."

What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?

A ginger with friends.

Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

...so I threw a dictionary at him.

You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!

I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.

What's white but not black, and red all over?

J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.

I wrote a book called "Endless Love."

It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.

What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."

Mom: Son, get up for school.

Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!

Top 10 Cos:

1. Disco 2. Flamenco 3. Fresco 4. Fiasco 5. Monaco 6. Tobacco 7. Bronco 8. Morocco 9. UNESCO 10. Taco

Pexico? Not top 1000 in my honest book.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

What is anonymous 🤔 oral masturbation? the politically correct word for anonymous gay fellatio from a 🕳 glory hole inside a 📖 adult book store

What do you say to a fat Asian?

You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

I speak for the trees.

*Trees whisper in my ear*

They said six million wasn't enough.

Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?

A: The ins and outs of child rearing.