Book jokes
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.
What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.
Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.
The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.
Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
What is anonymous 🤔 oral masturbation? the politically correct word for anonymous gay fellatio from a 🕳 glory hole inside a 📖 adult book store
I bought a book for my blind friend.