Book jokes
About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...
He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!
Hi, um okay... Knock! Knock! Who's there? Doris! Doris who? Doris look I need the key!
Um...oh here another one! Okay...so sorry I type random things on these joke sites...anyway...okay. What is a book never written: "Beautiful sites of the corel rife written by the ocean!"
My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
I asked a librarian if they had a section with Rocky Horror books.
She said: "Sure, just take a jump to the left and then a step to the right."
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.
Do you want a book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down!
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.