Book jokes
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
What did South Korea say to North Korea? Go read a book!
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"
A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.
Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.