Book jokes
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?
The waffle iron.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.
I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.
I read a book on the Tracy Latimer case the other day.
It was a gas.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?
Faithbook!
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."