Book jokes

Me: Mrs., can I read my book?

Teacher: Sure.

Me: *watching my Chromebook*

I just bought a book about lamps...

So I can do some light reading over the weekend.

A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!

What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?

"Wow, Harry!"

How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.

There was a dino at the library today.

It was reading a thesaurus.

Okay, I love reading Freshfry's conversations with random people. I love the ones where he has a full blown talking battle. I personally like reading them and I love reading them on my Chromebook while I play Call of Duty and Fortnite on my Xbox.

If you guys out there like reading Freshfry's conversations with random people, just comment and tell me. Talk to you guys later, watersharky out.

A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.

The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!

A man walks into a library.

Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

Suicidal Man: ...

Librarian: ...

The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?

Well, I just can't seem to put it down.

Getting a book on pasta?

Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!

Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?

Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?

I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

He gave me a book.

It was the Quran.

I said, "What the hell is that?"

He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.

My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.

The librarian then asked me to take it out.

What's only book rapeboat ever read? Rhyming dictionary, he got no rhymes without it.

What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.

Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.

Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.

What is a testicle's favorite book?

Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth!