Book jokes

I just bought a book about lamps...

So I can do some light reading over the weekend.

What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?

Faithbook!

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to ride Ponyboy Curtis.

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"

My favorite book is "Brown Spots on the Ceiling" by Ho Fung Poo.

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?

Because it couldn't count the bars!

There was a dino at the library today.

It was reading a thesaurus.

Okay, I love reading Freshfry's conversations with random people. I love the ones where he has a full blown talking battle. I personally like reading them and I love reading them on my Chromebook while I play Call of Duty and Fortnite on my Xbox.

If you guys out there like reading Freshfry's conversations with random people, just comment and tell me. Talk to you guys later, watersharky out.

Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?

Well, I just can't seem to put it down.

A man walks into a library.

Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

Suicidal Man: ...

Librarian: ...

The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.

The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!

Getting a book on pasta?

Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!

Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?

Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?

I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

He gave me a book.

It was the Quran.

I said, "What the hell is that?"

He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.

Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.

Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.

What is a testicle's favorite book?

Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth!