This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked too much!
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
Tried a random comic generator. Half of the ai generated comics don’t make sense, but the other half…
Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking... J.K. Rowling.
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.
Help me....
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
I’m reading a book on antigravity right now.
It’s impossible to put down.
What do you call gay men receiving anonymous blowjobs at the glory holes inside an adult bookstore?
Norwegian massage.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
