Book jokes

I’m reading a book on antigravity right now.

It’s impossible to put down.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

What do you call gay men receiving anonymous blowjobs at the glory holes inside an adult bookstore?

Norwegian massage.

Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.

Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?

So they can reach the top of the desk.

Why did the rapper get kicked out of the library?

Because he was too loud with his FLOW.

Once I read a book about glue.

I couldn't put it down.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.

Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.

What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?

Hairy Potter.

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?

Faithbook!

Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?

Because it couldn't count the bars!

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to ride Ponyboy Curtis.