Body jokes
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
who wouldnt?
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
I would tell a scoliosis joke.
But that would be completely out of line.
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.