Body jokes

What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?

De-feeted (Defeated)

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

The grass tickles their balls.

Why couldn't Bob hang himself?

Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)

Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?

She had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

Levi and Andrew are fat.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."

Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!

My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.

Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?

In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

My dick.

"Simon says touch your chin."

The fat people be like, "Which one?"

So here's Uranus, where's my anus?

Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

Yo mama so fat, even Thanos had to snap twice.

What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!

A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.

Hey, you might want to look at your butt because there's something coming out of Uranus.