Body jokes

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.

Yo mama's so fat, she's both in the Atlantic and Pacific ocean.

What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?

One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.

What's a cow's strongest part of their body?

Their "calves"!

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

What’s under the bottom?

Your legs.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.

Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"

Do you know Wildee?

What's that?

Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?

You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.

What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!