Body jokes
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
What do you call a girl with no legs?
Unshakeable.
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
What did Steven Harkens have to eat?
His shoulders.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.
Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
What’s under the bottom?
Your legs.
A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"
Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.