Body jokes
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
Lick my nut.
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
Why do midgets laugh while they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”