Body jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
Yo mama's so fat, she's both in the Atlantic and Pacific ocean.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?