Body jokes
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
What is the best part about having sex with 43 year olds?
There are 40 of them.
I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
If it is called a forehead, what happened to the five-head, six-head, and seven-head?
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
I have a penis.
How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.
500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.
What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?
A corpse, of course!
Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.
After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
My pits are hairy, but my I can carry.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
Damn, you look out of this world because you got a big head like an alien.
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.