Body jokes
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.
Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
You're so skinny that you fall.
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.
Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?