Body jokes
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?
Because they don't have titties.
I know a baby carrot when I see one.
My friend asked me:
Friend: "How much is your body worth?"
Me: "1 million."
Friend: "1 million dollars?!"
Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."
Friend: "Oh."
Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?
Sans: Hey Frisk, why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Frisk: Why didn't he go to the dance?
Sans: 'Cause he had no body to dance with!
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
I know 5 fat people; you're 4 of them.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
Your dick is as flat as your grandma's heart rate.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.
Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.