Body jokes
Yo mama's ass is mad crusty!
Sans: Hey Frisk, why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Frisk: Why didn't he go to the dance?
Sans: 'Cause he had no body to dance with!
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?
Ball stretcher.
Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?
Because they don't have titties.
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
Why did the fat man miss his flight?
His body weight exceeded the weight limit.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.
After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."
So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
Your dick is as flat as your grandma's heart rate.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.